


A Pull of the String

by Reylo_of_light



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Poe POV, Post TLJ, Rey POV, Rey has a secret, Rose pov
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-17
Updated: 2018-12-22
Packaged: 2019-09-21 06:51:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17038835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Reylo_of_light/pseuds/Reylo_of_light
Summary: Some time after the events of Crait and Rey feels a pull in the Force.Rey's point of view as over time she discovers the cause of the pull and tries to keep the secret.





	1. Chapter 1 - A Pull of the String

**Author's Note:**

> Second attempt at a Reylo drabble. No beta or anything. Very new to Ao3 and stuff. Be gentle!

A Pull of the String

At first, she didn’t notice.

It was barely a feeling.

Just a flicker of flame.

Then over time, she noticed more.

Rey would meditate, and it was there.

Like a piece of string, and she would try to grab it.

She couldn’t work out what it led to though.

She held onto it and hoped.

She asked the Force.

The Force did not answer.

 

The first time she knew, she was running. They had been on a routine run. Just gathering supplies. It should have been easy.

Then they saw the ships.

The First Order.

She felt it then. She could feel _him_.

And then she felt that string.

It pulled sharply somewhere inside of her and she gasped.

Like a flash of light across her vision she saw it.

She saw where that string led.

She knew what it was.

Rey stumbled as it pulled again.

She felt his attention, he could sense her too.

He was curious about her panic.

She felt it pull again.

It was reaching out.

_He_ was reaching out.

Rey shut it off and ran.

 

She knew now, but it was little more than a pull. A sensation.

A fear.

She was afraid.

Hiding in the engine room of the Falcon, Rey tried to calm herself.

She knew.

Now what could she do with the knowledge?

_Nothing._

Her own voice echoed back to her.

_You can do nothing. Keep it secret. And wait._

She knew all about waiting.

So Rey would wait. It might yet not be worth her worry. Rey would wait.

 

Hanging over the toilet in the fresher, Rey groaned.

She focused on centring herself, she had to compose herself.

Another wave of nausea hit and Rey hurled into the bowl again.

She had ignored everything.

Although she had known, she had been waiting. Her fear made her reluctant to accept it. There was time. She changed nothing, carried on as normal. But she kept her mind closed and guarded.

She did the same with her heart.

It broke her to do it. But it was necessary.

She hurled again.

_Focus, Rey._

She took a shuddering breath, closing her eyes.

_Focus._

She brushed away the feelings of nausea and searched. She searched for that ember she had been ignoring.

That little spark she hid away.

She reached out for that string and grasped it tightly.

Instantly she felt it, a rush of warmth, of hope. She felt the Force rush through her like waves of water.

A flash of light, swallowed by darkness only to resume a soft glow.

There it was.

It flickered no longer.

Instead, it burned brightly, strong and fierce.

Darkness lingered around it, lay within it, but still the light shone brightly.

It was beautiful.

Light and Dark.

A kaleidoscope of colours twisting and swirling together between the threads of dark and light.

She watched as it formed slowly.

She heard herself audibly gasp as she watched.

A tear rolled down her cheek.

She clutched that thread tighter. She could feel everything. It connected her to this beautiful entity of light, dark and colour.

She had never known a feeling like it.

Her fear melted, if only for a moment, and it was replaced with wonder and awe.

She centred herself again on that connection, on those feelings.

She searched for answers.

The Force showed them to her, as clear as it had ever been.

Rey’s eyes flew open.

The Force had given her something. Something more solid and real than even hope. Something worth fighting for. It had given her everything she needed.

Rey smiled, her hands drifting away from where they had rested on her knees as she meditated. She touched that place, feeling the instant flow of Force.

This was everything.

 

He was searching for her.

Everyone knew it, but they did not know why.

Poe, now General following Leia’s tragic passing, believed it was because he knew Rey was a threat.

Finn agreed.

Rey knew better.

In those moments where she allowed herself to be weak, she would reach out across the galaxies, looking for him. To see if he was ok.

He was angry, hurt… and more than that, he was afraid.

It hurt her. She could never linger long, it was overwhelming, and she could not risk being caught. He could not see her.

He was afraid she had left him, betrayed him. Or that she was hurt.

Rey wished it was that easy.

“This mission _has_ to be quick. In and out crew. Rey, are you sure you should be going?”

Poe asked before another mission.

Rey hated people thinking she was unable. Or worse, if they thought her a liability.

They could never know the truth.

“Kylo Ren won’t give up. He’ll be there, searching.”

Rey didn’t care. She needed this.

So she went.

 

It was a mistake.

 

They were so close to getting back on the Falcon unnoticed. They were running, mission a success, supplies gathered, fresh allies among them, when Rey suddenly froze.

She could feel them coming.

A blast whistled past her ear, missing her by centimetres.

Stupid!

She was trained in the Force!

She yelled to the others and they ran again.

Then it pulled.

Hard.

Rey buckled to her knees.

_No. Not now._

Poe was screaming at her. Finn tried to help her up.

Rey stood and stumbled again as, once more, it pulled frantically inside her.

It was desperate to reach out to him.

That was dangerous.

Rey pleaded with that little ball of hope and light and dark. She begged it to stop.

It was too dangerous.

It ignored her, fighting against her restraint.

Rey groaned and ran, stumbling, with Finn toward the ship.

Poe was still screaming at them from the top of the ramp.

Halfway up Rey froze again, glancing back in a moment of selfish weakness.

His dark eyes sought hers, boring their way into her.

He was searching. Looking for the source of her struggle. Of that pull.

Of the Force that reached out to him so desperately.

Rey saw the moment when he knew too.

His eyes went wide and his mouth parted slightly.

Kylo Ren took a step towards her.

Rey didn’t dare move.

Still that Force pulled and reached but it was soothing.

Kylo kept coming.

Rey was suddenly yanked back and the ramp began to close.

She watched as Kylo disappeared, the knowledge clear in his eyes.

He knew.

 

Dark had fallen over the Resistance base and Rey had retired to the Falcon, away from everyone.

She was not ready to be confronted by people.

They all had questions about why she had collapsed.

They thought it was Kylo.

She couldn’t tell them the truth.

And she knew now, her secret was out.

Kylo knew and there would be no keeping him at arm’s length any longer.

Chewie had offered her comfort, the only person she had trusted with her secret.

He told her that this was going to happen sooner or later.

That maybe this was for the best, the will of the Force maybe.

Rey had chuckled through tears and nodded.

He was right, but she was still afraid.

Chewie left her to be alone with her thoughts.

They both knew what was bound to happen.

Sure enough, it did.

Rey was pulling at wires in the Falcon’s circuit boards by the ramp. There was no major issue, but it calmed her.

_“Rey.”_

She ignored it. She could not shut him out any more, but she didn’t have to respond.

_“Rey.”_

The voice was a little more pressing this time. Rey felt a twinge inside of her, imploring her to listen. To respond. She bit back tears and continued to work.

“Rey.”

The voice was irritable almost. And immediate.

She could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

“Rey.” He was insistent.

“What?!” She snapped, turning to face him.

A mistake.

His eyes were dark and deep and she was falling into that abyss. Flecks of gold swam in them. His gaze was wanting, searching, warm. Rey felt her insides go warm and gooey.

His hand reached up to touch her face and a tear slid down her cheek. She could not look at him, she turned her face away from his encompassing gaze.

“Rey… Why would you keep this from me?”

He was frowning, but barely. He was confused, hurt even. But more than that, he was just worried for her. She could feel his emotions as clearly as her own. And there were about as many.

“Sweetheart…”

Rey shook her head. She could not find her words.

“Sweetheart, look at me.”

Slowly, she let her eyes be drawn back to his. Allowed him to gently pull her face back to his.

“It’s real then?”

She nodded slowly, she did not trust herself to be able to speak.

“And… it’s… it’s…?”

His desperation was clear. She could feel his heart beat pounding.

As if it couldn’t be. There was only him.

There would only ever be him.

“Yes.” She said softly, her voice barely above a whisper.

Ben let out a breath that neither realised they had been holding.

She felt his emotions become calmer, more clear.

There was less anxiety. Less fear. But there was…

Joy.

Pure elated joy.

A happiness, the likes of which she had never seen.

Ben was happy.

Rey blinked, eyes wide herself, tears falling as a smile spread across his features.

Ben kissed her tears away and then her lips, leaving a salty tang, a taste of her own tears on his lips.

He dropped from his great height, sinking to his kness before her.

Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, Jedi killer, was on his knees before a no one from Jakku, the last Jedi.

Ben Solo let his hands slide from her face, down her arms and gripped her stomach as he sank to his knees. He let out a soft shaky laugh of elation.

Rey smiled herself, finally feeling the joy he felt, that she had been too afraid to let herself feel.

She stopped hiding. She let that light inside of her shine, she let it reach out.

Ben stumbled back slightly as he felt the full rush of the Force emanating from inside her, searching for him. Again he laughed, smiling and pressed his ear to her stomach.

“Ben… I don’t think you’ll hear it…”

He ignored her.

He was suddenly pushing up her sashes and her tunic, exposing the creamy gold expanse of her stomach, and revealing the small but definitive round bump that resided there.

“Ben…”

Rey gasped as he exposed her. She had been so careful about what she wore, about how she was seen. She even used the Force to hide the bump on those days where it looked more obvious.

But Ben was attentive. He was not shy or nervous. He simply worshipped her body and the miracle inside it.

_Their miracle._

Rey leant back against the doorway with a sigh as Ben caressed her belly with his large hands, gloves removed so he could really feel her. Feel _them_.

She gently pushed her fingers into his hair, letting them stroke through the soft dark locks. Oh how she hoped _they_ would have hair like his.

She felt Ben chuckle against her belly.

_“As long as they don’t get my ears.”_

She heard him whisper into her head.

_I like your ears._

She responded. He chuckled again and pressed his lips to her stomach.

She was sure he could feel her worry flowing off her in waves.

“Shhh sweetheart… This is not something to be afraid of. This… This is wonderful. This is hope. We will work this out. Together.”

He soothed, still attending to her belly.

“Ben, we’re so far from ending this still… And now…”

“All this means is I am more determined than ever. And that perhaps I need to speed up my time line.”

Rey chuckled and sighed.

“We’ll be fine sweetheart. Don’t worry starlight. We will do this together.”

“I’m afraid Ben.”

She admitted. He stood and pressed a kiss to her forehead, stroking her cheek and brushing the hair back with his thumb.

“I know. So am I. But I’m happy. And hopeful. And that outweighs the fear. Trust me, I will make sure you’re ok. Both of you. All of us.”

“I trust you, Ben.”

“Good.”

He dropped back to his knees and kissed her belly again.

“I promise you, little one, I will be there for everything. I might not always get it right… But I will be there.”

Rey cried again as Ben, Kylo Ren, stood and kissed her passionately, spinning her round and carrying her away to the bed chamber. They would find a way. Together.

 

 

In the dark of the landing field, a shadow sank back behind crates of ship parts.

It couldn’t be. Rey wouldn’t…

But Rose knew what she had seen.

Rey. With Kylo Ren. And a rounded belly he was all too attentive to.

Rose shook her head, she did not want to believe it, but she had to.

And she had to tell the others.


	2. Chapter 2 - And so, the string unravels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose debates how to deal with the knowledge of what she saw. Rey battles for her secret. And the string begins to unravel as things become exposed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe I'm rushing, posting this now. But I was so excited to see that you guys liked it!

And so, the string unravels

Rey found herself humming softly to herself as she combed through her hair.

She could not wipe the smile from her face.

She had been so afraid to let Ben know, but now, now he knew it was like a weight had lifted from her shoulders.

Her heart felt lighter with their connection reopened and flowing freely.

And her tired aching body felt alive again.

Oh how he had worshipped her in the bedroom. Caressing every curve, old and new. Few though they were.

Somehow he always made her feel beautiful.

Ben had always looked at Rey as though she was the sun.

Now though… he looked at her as though she had created the entire galaxy and held all the suns, stars and moons in her hands.

He kissed every freckle that dusted her skin as though he was whispering quiet prayers to the stars.

Rey felt loved. Adored. Beautiful.

And right now, she felt thoroughly satisfied.

Ben certainly knew her.

Brushing out another knot from her hair, Rey made her way back out into the main body of the ship. She really should finish fixing the ramp. Since Ben had… distracted her somewhat.

With a sigh she swung her hair back over her shoulder and returned to the wires she had been fiddling with.

Her mind was quiet and calm and Rey could focus.

Inside of her, their little miracle seemed to radiate light. It felt calm. Peaceful. She gently rubbed her belly with a chuckle.

“Did you just want to reach him, Peanut?”

She felt a tug at the string and took that to mean yes.

Rey chuckled again and resumed her work on the wires.

All in all, Rey felt content. At peace. She felt… balanced. Like even the Force was at last balanced and in harmony.

Her happy bubble was about to burst.

 

Rose had gone back and forth a dozen times. She knew she had to tell Poe about what she had witnessed. If Kylo Ren was here… they were all in danger.

But she had seen no trace of his ship. And she had searched.

She did not want to believe that Rey would have betrayed them, but how could she not when it looked so clear cut?

She did not understand how Rey could do this to them.

Rey had betrayed them for Kylo Ren. For the darkside. For a pair of pretty eyes.

But then, Rose found herself questioning, what exactly had Rey betrayed them for?

She had no interest in power. Although she had never explained what happened on the Supremacy.

She always told Poe she was not a Jedi. Not like Luke. But then, maybe that wasn’t a bad thing. She cared, she had attachments.

What would Rey betray them for?

She saved them on Crait, she could have left the Resistance to die. They had no hope.

She thought about what she’d seen. It made no sense to her.

Rose had to tell Poe.

And yet…

… She hadn’t. Not yet anyway.

Instead she was following her feet back to the Falcon to confront Rey.

She would tell Poe. She had to.

But she wanted answers. She needed to understand why Rey would do this. She could not understand how their beacon of hope could do this to them. Betray her friends. Betray Leia’s memory like that. Luke’s…

Then she stopped.

Rey was humming a nameless tune as she worked. Her hair was loose, slung over a shoulder. A smile was painted on her face and she seemed to sway to the song she hummed as she worked.

She looked happy.

Rose was about to leave, she would just tell Poe. She’d learn the reasons for the betrayal later.

Something crunched under her boot and she suddenly felt Rey’s eyes on her.

“Rose?”

She turned sharply to face Rey. Confrontation it was.

 

Rey looked at Rose confused. What was Rose doing here? And why did she look so terribly unhappy?

“Rose? Is everything ok?”

Rose came up the ramp, a frown on her face. Rey tried to work out what had the usually bubbly girl looking so upset.

“Not really.”

“What is it?”

“Rey…”

Rose bit her lip as though unsure how to proceed.

“How could you betray us? With him?”

Rey stopped. She felt like someone had just stabbed her, and then poured ice into her veins.

“What?”

“I saw you, Rey. I saw you standing right there. With him. Kylo Ren.”

Rey felt that string tug hard inside her. Panic.

She couldn’t let that panic radiate out. Ben would pick up on it.

“Rose…”

“No excuses Rey! I want to know why…”

“Rose please…”

“Where is he?”

“He’s not here.”

“I saw him!”

“It’s the Force. We… we share a Force bond. Sometimes it connects us randomly, sometimes we can influence it. When we have contact, when we touch… it can… bring the other into our space. He appeared to be here but wasn’t.”

Rey tried to explain. She did not want to have to explain this. Their bond was special. Private.

“So he could just see our base?! Listen to our meetings?!”

“No! I can… I can close it off. So he doesn’t know those things. He does the same to me.”

Rose shook her head. This was a lot to take in, Rey knew that.

“Rose, please. You can’t tell the others. They won’t understand…”

“Why would you let this bond exist, Rey? If you can close it, why ever open it?”

“I…”

“Don’t bother. I already know.”

“You do?”

Rey looked at her, anxious. Did Rose know how she felt for Ben? Maybe Rose would understand. She was a romantic at heart. Full of hope.

“I saw you and him. He kissed you. Took you back to…”

She nodded in the direction of the living quarters. Rey bit her lip.

“And I saw… you… you’re…”

Her heart sank and the string pulled harder inside her at the realisation.

Rose knew.

“You’re pregnant.”

Rose looked at her. She said it as a statement, but Rey could see the question in her eyes. Asking if it was true.

Rey looked away.

“No… and it’s his?”

Rey still wouldn’t look at her. Rose took a step back.

“No. No. No no no no no!”

Rey sighed.

“Rey! How could you sleep with the enemy?! Literally!”

“Rose please, let me explain…”

“I’m listening. But I do not promise to understand.”

Rose said, folding her arms. For such a small person, she was scary.

And so Rey told her. She told her about Ach-to, about their connection, the Supremacy, reconnecting after Crait. About Leia’s final wish that Rey bring her son home after Rey used the bond to let Leia see Ben one more time. She told Rose about their agreement.

“We’re going to end this war. The Resistance cannot win.”

Rose tried to protest.

“Neither can the First Order. But if the First Order fell… there would be no need for the Resistance. We’re working together to change things from inside.”

Rey even showed Rose the token, the talisman that represented Ben’s promise to her.

“What is that?”

“A lightsaber is a Jedi’s life in many ways. And the Kyber crystal is the heart. When Ben forced his saber to the darkside, made it bleed, it shattered.”

Rey fingered the small red fracture on the twine around her neck.

“This is that broken part. Ben said, that if the crystal is a Jedi’s heart, then this is the broken piece of his. He wanted me to have it, the broken part, until he can give me the rest to make whole.”

Rey could practically feel Rose’s conflict. The romantic in her fighting with her fierce loyalty.

Rey told Rose everything. And she hoped that Rose would understand.

Rose had argued once that they could not win by fighting what they hate, but by saving what they love. That was what Rey was doing. Saving what she loved. Surely Rose could understand that?

Rose seemed deep in thought. Rey tried to read her, enough to know where her mind was at.

“Please Rose… You can’t tell anyone. They won’t understand. It’ll put my baby in danger. Please, you can’t tell Poe.”

Rey pleaded desperately, hoping upon hope that Rose’s kind heart would win out. At least long enough for Rey to make a plan.

Rose sighed.

“I’m sorry, Rey. I can tell you care about him. And I could see he cared for you. But…”

Rey’s heart stopped. The pull on the string urged her to take action. To protect her unborn child. To protect all of them.

“… but you’re dangerous. You’re a liability. And… even though you have your reasons, your plan… I have to tell Poe. You aren’t fighting for us anymore.”

Rose looked truly sad. Rey had to think fast.

“I’m sorry, Rey. Maybe if you explain, Poe will listen. But I have to tell him.”

“I understand.”

Rey said, dipping her head slightly. Rose nodded and headed back for the ramp.

“I’m sorry too. But I can’t let you tell Poe.”

Rey waved her hand as she had seen Ben do and watched as Rose crumpled to the floor.

She hated to do it, but, she thought, her hand on her belly feeling the tension in her baby, she had to, for Ben’s sake, for her sake. And mostly, for her baby’s sake.

The secret had to remain a secret.

So Rose had to forget.

And Rey would have to ensure it.

 

Rey felt awful afterwards. It had worked, but Rey was anxious. Rose was strong minded. It had not been easy, and Rey did not know if eventually Rose would remember.

Not to mention, Rey knew that as time went on, she would not be able to hide her pregnancy. Even using the Force to mask her image.

Rey needed a plan. Ben was right. Their timeline needed speeding up.

Chewie came onboard, instantly knowing Rey was upset. He thought it was Ben at first.

Rey told him everything.

Chewie decided exactly what Rey needed. And that apparently was a Wookie hug.

**I’ll be there for you. Wherever you go, whatever happens.**

He assured her. Rey cried again. His support was endless. His faith astounding. Even after watching Ben kill his best friend, Chewbacca was still willing to believe in Ben. To forgive. To trust Rey.

**Besides, I don’t think Han would forgive me if I didn’t take care of you and his grandchild.**

Rey laughed aloud through her tears, his fur tickling her face.

“Thank you, Chewie. I don’t know what I would do without you. You’ve been so willing to help despite everything.”

**He was my cub too, Rey. I watched him grow. I couldn’t kill him with my bow even when he killed Han. I just see that little cub running around growling with his hair in his face.**

Again, Rey found herself laughing. She could not help picturing her own child, a mop of black curls like Ben’s, running around, growling at Uncle Chewie…

**I know what you’re thinking and don’t! One Solo child was enough for me!**

Rey grinned and hugged him as tightly as she could.

“Thank you, Chewbacca.”

**You’re welcome little cub. Besides, Han believed in Ben. So did Leia. And so do you. I owe it to them to try. I owe it to myself, to you… and to Ben. So I’m still here. And I’ll be there until the end.**

Rey could not have asked for a better companion. She knew Chewie would be there. He would help them. In that moment, she had never been more grateful for the Wookie and his fierce loyalty.

 

Rey had seemed oddly distant recently.

She was the symbol of hope for the Resistance. People looked to the Last Jedi to guide them. They believed in her.

And yet…

Poe scanned the room. Rey was nowhere to be seen.

Again.

She had been withdrawing lately. She came to most meetings but avoided speaking. Avoided going on many missions. And, Poe noticed, she was very reluctant to discuss the issue of Kylo Ren.

As the Last Jedi, she was their best hope against him. He could stop their blaster fire. Rey though, Rey was as strong as him. She had defeated him before. She could do it again.

Yet Rey seemed hesitant. She refused on one occasion, stating Leia would not have wanted that.

Poe argued with her then. Kylo Ren was too dangerous to live. He was Ben Solo no longer.

Rey stopped speaking on the matter after that.

She would not face him.

And today, she was nowhere to be found.

Poe looked to Finn, sat beside Rose. Rose had seemed a little off herself lately. Rey had found her a few weeks ago passed out in the clearing where the ships were. Poe presumed she was still feeling a little off following it.

The medical droid had not found anything to explain why she’d collapsed.

Finn shrugged at Poe, it seemed he did not know where Rey was any more than Poe.

“Has anyone seen Rey?” Poe asked the gathered group.

People looked around each other and shook their heads or echoed back ‘no’.

Poe frowned.

Rey was needed today. Why was she not here?

 

Rey sensed Poe coming before he made himself known.

It gave her a chance to hide what needed hiding before she faced him with a smile.

“Poe, what a surprise. What can I do for you?”

“You missed the meeting today.”

Poe was blunt and straight to the point. Rey could tell he was irritated. And worse, he was suspicious.

That was not what she needed.

“Oh. I apologise for that. I got distracted I suppose.”

“It was a crucial meeting Rey. Discussing our plans, next steps. The best course of action.”

“Well I’m sorry I missed it. I’m sure you can fill me in.”

“They need to see you! You are our Jedi! You are meant to be there! To help! Be a beacon of hope! To fight the darkside!”

Rey felt that pull again.

_Not the time to feel irritated, Peanut. Stay calm, little one. He does not understand._

“I am not ‘your’ Jedi. I am my own person. And I have told you, time and time again, not to place me on that pedestal. I am not a Jedi as Luke was.”

_Calm, little one._

“I am not just there to fight battles for you, I have my own path to follow.”

“Is that so? Does the Resistance and the cause not matter to you any more then?”

She hated the accusation. But he was not exactly wrong. Rey didn’t believe in the cause. Not the way it was right now.

The First Order could not be allowed to control the galaxy, but Poe was becoming fanatical. He was willing to use as much violence as Hux. He saw only in black and white.

Rey no longer did.

She knew better.

The world was not black and white.

It was grey. Hundreds of shades of grey. Some things so dark, they were black, others so bright they were white. But the world could not exist simply in the light or the dark. It was the failings of all those who had come before her.

“Are you going to deny it?”

Poe demanded.

Rey fought the urge to rub her belly and soothe her agitated child.

“Of course it matters, but I am a Force user. It is my responsibility to bring balance to the Force.”

She tried to avoid saying too much.

“So why won’t you face Kylo Ren? He is causing imbalance! He is the darkside!”

“He is not all dark, and nor am I all light.”

Rey spoke calmly as she could, letting the energy of her child, that perfect balanced Force, flow through her and soothe her.

“That is what you do not understand, Poe. I am following a path that is grey. Balanced. And sometimes, yes, it takes me away from the Resistance. The Force is my priority. I’m sorry. I am not giving up on you all, but I have to do what is right by me.”

Poe frowned, he was analysing her. Rey needed to get rid of him. This was dangerous territory.

“You are hiding something. I know it. There is something you are not telling us.”

Rey refused to let her fear show.

“Did you think I didn’t notice you disappear off? You claim it’s part of some secret mission Leia gave you before she died…”

It was not technically a lie.

“… But I don’t buy it. You’re up to something. I will find out what.”

“Poe, you’re losing it. Becoming paranoid. Leia asked me to do something for her before she died, that’s what I’m doing when I’m not here. That and following my Jedi path.”

Rey tried to reason, staying as calm as she could. Poe could not know how right he was.

“What are you even doing in here? What’s with the crates? Where are you going?”

Rey tried to remain casual.

“I’m going to an old Jedi temple. I know the First Order destroyed most of them, but I’m hoping to find something there.”

“Fine. But you are not going alone.”

“Obviously. Chewie will be with me. As he always is.”

“No. This time you’re taking someone else.”

“Absolutely not. This is my path. My choice. It could be risky. I will not endanger anyone else. Chewie has been there since the beginning, and he knows a lot. He knew Luke back when Luke was learning. His experience is invaluable.”

“Right now Rey, I do not trust you fully. So you are not going alone.”

Poe was almost snarling as he stepped into her space.

The light inside Rey, blazed with fury, the darkness rearing in anger.

Rey matched Poe. Stepping forward, she would not back down. She just glared at him.

“Well I do not trust you fully either. Leia would…”

“Don’t you dare bring Leia up!”

“Why not?! You do!”

“You are taking Finn with you!”

“I am not! You are becoming paranoid and fanatical and I will not let you control me!”

The argument was growing heated and as Poe stepped into her space again, Rey called her staff to her, holding it up ready to attack if Poe continued.

He eyed her staff coldly. They both knew the threat it presented.

“So that’s how it is?”

He hissed, still watching the staff.

“I guess so.”

Rey was angry now. She had less control over her emotions, over everything in this state.

Poe glared at her. Rey raised the staff.

Poe suddenly hesitated. Rey thought she had finally scared him. Then she realised he was no longer staring at her staff.

“Rey…”

His eyes were on her belly.

She panicked. She swung her staff, Poe ducked and Rey held her hand outstretched, sending him flying. He hit the wall of the Falcon hard and crashed to the floor.

Panicking, Rey cried out for Chewie.

They acted fast. Rey did her best to bar Poe’s memory of this. It was hard when she was in this state of anxiety. Chewie bodily carried him outside and dumped him.

Rose and Finn would find him, but it would not be hard for them all to connect the dots between such events and encounters with Rey.

She needed to leave.

She felt the pull inside her, desperately urging her to get away. She knew what she had to do.

Chewie moved into the cockpit and Rey followed, settling into the pilot’s chair.

Chewie sat expectantly as Rey punched in co-ordinates and took them upwards.

Once safe in space he looked to her, waiting for instruction as she tried to calm herself.

Breathing deeply and rubbing her belly, she turned her gaze to him.

He was ready.

It was now or never.

“Punch it, Chewie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoping I've left it in a way that keeps you wanting. I guess I could leave it at two if not. Kudos make me giddy but comments make me squeal!


	3. Chapter 3 - And so, we hold onto the string

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Not too much going on, Rey and Chewie talk.  
> Rey sees a familiar face who makes her think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wanted to get a chapter out for you guys before Christmas since I think it might be a couple of weeks until I get another one written. Especially since things are really uncertain with my work.  
> Merry Christmas beautiful Reylos!  
> Or Happy Holidays!

And so, we hold onto the string

Streaks of light.

Tension coiled inside her like a spring.

A soft growl of re-assurance.

Rey breathed.

Her unfocused gaze watched as stars streaked past the window.

Hyperspace.

They were safe.

But likely not for long.

The Falcon was easily among the most recognisable ships in the galaxy.

The First Order were looking for it – not that Ben would let anything happen to her.

The Resistance would now be looking for it.

And Rey was not only the Last Jedi, but now she carried a precious secret.

She had to protect it.

Chewie growled again.

Rey smiled. They were not alone. Chewie was with them.

**Where are we headed?**

Chewie asked her.

Rey had punched in co-ordinates without thinking, choosing the first place she could think of.

“Ach-to.”

**At least no one will find us there, right?**

“I hope not. Although I suppose the Resistance will still have the co-ordinates somewhere.”

Rey slumped a little in her chair.

Ach-to had been an impulse decision, but it had seemed safe. No one knew where it was. She and Chewie had gone alone…

But it was likely that somewhere, the Resistance would have a copy of the co-ordinates.

**R2 had them and he’s here. We should be safe for a while. At least long enough to plan our next move.**

Rey appreciated the Wookie’s outlook. He was right. Ach-to was safe enough that they could lay low and consider their options.

**Do you think Poe remembers what happened?**

“I don’t know, Chewie.”

Rey rubbed her belly anxiously. Poe had seen she was pregnant, but unlike Rose, he had not stated it was Ben’s. Not that Rey gave him a chance. She could not risk him realising the truth, so she’d had to take action. Stressed and anxious as she was though, she did not know how effective she had been.

**We’ll find out, I guess. Poe won’t stay silent if he knows the Last Jedi is carrying the next generation of Force Users.**

Rey’s blood ran cold. She felt that string pull uncomfortably inside her. Her babe was upset.

She had not considered that Poe might try to exploit her pregnancy for the Resistance’s gain.

That he might risk exposing her precious child in the hopes that it would gain him support, maybe even sympathy, for the Resistance.

Rey felt sick.

Very sick.

Sicker than she’d felt in a while.

It seemed the very notion of being exploited upset her baby a great deal.

Rey struggled to prevent herself throwing up all over the control panel of the Falcon.

**Rey? Is everything ok?**

She shook her head and swallowed back bile.

“I hadn’t thought… Do you think he really would exploit it? Use my pregnancy, my baby, to gain support?”

Chewie shrugged.

**I would like to think he wouldn’t, it’s an innocent cub. It shouldn’t be bought into this war. You cannot use and exploit a child…**

Rey shuddered as she thought about another child that was used and exploited from an early age.

Her baby seemed to turn violently in her stomach at the thought of what their father had gone through.

**… But Poe has lost his way. As you say, he’s becoming fanatical, desperate. I would hope he is above such actions, but I wouldn’t like to say that he is. Not in the state he is right now.**

Chewie was right. Poe was fanatical. He was desperate. He could not see past his idea of how things should be. He could not see a bigger picture.

“I just hope Rose doesn’t remember what she learned.”

**That would not go well if she spoke to Poe.**

“No, but I suppose, at least it might deter him from using my child as a poster image for the Resistance.”

Rey tried to joke, to make light of a bad situation.

**It might. And he might use it to get to Ben. To blackmail and threaten him… lure him into a trap…**

Again, Rey felt sick.

**He could even let it slip to Hux. Hux would definitely come after Ben then. And you. The baby would become a bargaining chip. Ben would rather die than let anything happen to you and the baby.**

“Hux would kill us anyway.”

**Wouldn’t stop Ben sacrificing himself first.**

Rey had to run to the fresher to vomit.

In her belly her tiny bundle of light and hope seemed to squirm.

“Shhh little one… It’ll be ok. We will be alright. I promise. Daddy will be alright. Be still little one.”

Rey tried to reassure the little ball of life, rubbing her belly and speaking softly to her child, reaching out through the Force, holding onto that string and pushing her hope along it.

She stayed there, soothing her unborn child until she felt that string calm and still. Only then did she return to Chewie in the cockpit.

**Sorry.**

“It’s alright Chewie. I think I knew, somewhere inside me, those were risks. But just hearing them out loud… they seem more real. More likely. And it frightened me. Frightened them.”

They sat for a moment in companionable silence.

“Everything is stacked against us, isn’t it?”

Rey asked quietly, although it was more a statement than question.

**Maybe… But then again, maybe not.**

Rey looked at Chewie curiously. How could the odds be in their favour? The odds were against them.

**‘Never tell me the odds’ that’s what Han would say.**

Rey suddenly smiled. Han would say that.

**Even if the odds are against you, Han would never ask if something was possible until he’d done it. Remember?**

She certainly did remember, she smiled more at the memories. Memories that led to her meeting Ben.

**And trust me, there were plenty of times when things should have been impossible. Pretty sure we should have died over a dozen times with the crazy stunts he used to pull. Can never decide which was craziest.**

Rey chuckled quietly as she watched Chewie reminisce.

**Kessel run… Trying to save a princess… Blowing up a death star or two… marrying that damn princess…**

Rey did laugh out loud then. Marrying Leia Organa probably was the craziest thing Han ever did. Or that Leia did.

**… Parenting. That was definitely a crazy one, though not sure that is something they planned on…**

Rey touched her own belly. It certainly wasn’t something she had planned on. At least Han and Leia had been married, coming out of the end of a war… She was still slap bang in the middle of a war, on the opposite side to the father.

**… Catching Rathtars… That was bloody insanity… Reuniting with his princess and planning to destroy yet another planet destroyer…**

Rey’s heart lurched. She had never seen their reunion. She had only met Leia after Han died.

**…Or going out on that damn bridge and shouting for his son…**

Chewie stopped suddenly and glanced at Rey. There was a painful silence in the air as the weight and gravity of everything began to settle on them.

That memory caused an ache in both of them that would always be there. The string inside her pulled and then Rey felt a spike of pain through the bond.

Ben.

“Maybe that was the craziest thing he did… but it might have been the bravest. He went back for his son. He didn’t give up… and even though he died…”

Rey swallowed a lump in her throat as she pictured the red blade igniting through Han’s chest.

“… His death was the beginning of the end of Kylo Ren. He pulled the thread that began to unravel his disguise.”

Another spike of pain to her heart through the bond. Chewie might never truly know how much ben regretted what he had done, how much it hurt him, but Rey did. She felt his pain every time he thought of his father.

**Yeah… I guess so. And Han never did like to back down from anything. Especially if the odds were against him. Nothing would have stopped him going out there.**

Once again, silence fell between them. Rey felt the bond soothe, but not by her doing. The light inside her, their child, was reaching across their bond to soothe their father.

Rey smiled and stroked her belly affectionately.

“You’re right Chewie. And even though we miss him, I’m glad he did it. It woke something up in Ben. And that gave me Ben, gave me hope. And that gave me my little peanut.”

Cheiwe chuckled.

**Sticking with peanut?**

“Yes I am!”

Rey replied with a laugh.

**Alright then. Peanut it is.**

Green.

Soft grass that waved beneath them.

Grey.

Towering sloping cliffs that loomed from the waters below.

Blue.

Oceans the rolled and roiled.

White.

The crests of waves as they crashed into the rocks.

Rey breathed a sigh of relief as the Falcon descended, landing gently on the flat rock it had sat upon before.

The last time Rey had been here, she had come looking for Luke, seeking answers and training.

Instead, well, instead, she had found Ben.

Her hand on her stomach, a soft smile on her lips, Rey walked down the ramp back onto familiar grounds.

Instantly she felt the Force flowing through her, she felt comfort and balance. It was as though the island was welcoming her home.

Somehow, she doubted that the caretakers would welcome her as warmly.

She followed her feet along familiar routes, laughing as she watched dozens of porgs fluttering around excitedly. She was sure Chewie loved the little critters, deep down. He hadn’t eaten the ones on the Falcon anyway.

She trekked up to the temple and stood on the edge where she had her first lesson. Touching the rock with the barest brush of her fingertips, Rey felt it.

A presence.

“Luke.”

_“Oh no…”_

Rey whipped around and saw him standing there, staring at her, eyes wide, mouth agape.

_“No… Really?”_

He slapped a palm to his face and dragged it slowly down with a groan. He looked younger than Rey had seen him. His hair was darker, eyes a little less tired, skin less wrinkled. But he was older than he had been in many of the holos she had seen, from the days of the Rebel Alliance and Vader.

Luke Skywalker in the… Force.

_“Really? Kriff.”_

“Watch the language… sacred island.”

Rey shot back without thinking.

Luke raised an eyebrow, a hand still on his face.

_“Another Skywalker child?”_

Rey blushed at the knowledge that Luke was FULLY aware of who the father was.

“Well technically it’s a Solo child…”

_“That’s worse.”_

Rey frowned at him.

_“I don’t mean it like that… I mean… Solo genes… stubbornness, charm yes, stubbornness mostly, risk taking, roguishness, arrogance…”_

“Skywalker genes… Stubbornness in the extreme, dramatics in the extreme, arrogance, power…”

Rey retorted dryly, folding her arms, her own eyebrow arched, her expression unamused.

_“Exactly! That combination was difficult enough the first time! Now you’re throwing in more stubbornness and power, tenaciousness, resilience…”_

“Those hardly sound like negatives…”

Rey pointed out, still frowning.

_“It is in certain contexts and I was not done! Recklessness…”_

“Could argue they get that from the Solo or Skywalker genes too.”

_“My point is! You are both powerful Force users! Ben has a lot of the negative family traits… on both sides… and you have your own difficult traits…”_

“And Ben has plenty of good ones too! He’s sensitive! Yes, that makes him vulnerable to being hurt, yes he feels things in his entirety, but it makes him caring too! He listens! He’s honest, and he can be so compassionate and understanding…”

Rey hadn’t realised she was smiling as she began to reel off Ben’s good traits.

Luke did.

_“You’re in over your head, Rey.”_

“Maybe I am! But I don’t care!”

Rey defended, her temper flaring. That might be one of her negative traits she supposed, she could be hot-headed…

“Ben is better than anyone gives him credit for! He’s twice the man you were!”

She had snapped the words before she had a chance to think about them. Speaking and acting without thinking of consequences. That was another.

She didn’t stop.

“I believe in Ben Solo! I will always believe in Ben Solo! Something you didn’t do! And he believes in me! In us! In hope! More than I can say about you!”

Perhaps that was unfair of her. Luke had come back, he’d come back to save the Resistance. To face Ben. And strangely enough, she was sure he’d done that so Ben could have closure. To give him chance…

“Why are you smiling?”

She frowned again as she looked at Luke. He was standing, arms folded over his chest and a smile on his face.

_“Because… You ARE in way over your head. And I don’t think you even know it.”_

“Of course I know it! The galaxy is at war, Ben and I are on the same side and neither side and opposite sides all at once. My baby is going to have a price on their head before their even born and… Why are you still smiling?!”

_“Because Rey, I know that you know all of that. But right now, you don’t realise the thing you are deepest in. Don’t worry. Leia didn’t realise how deep she was in either at first. I don’t think even Han did.”_

Rey shot him a confused look. Was he talking about her pregnancy? She knew around how far along she was… She knew enough about what was coming…

_“No, not the baby Rey. Although that is going to be a challenge unlike any you’ve faced before.”_

“Then what, Luke? I don’t understand!”

_“You talk about Ben like you talk about no one else. You still defend him as fiercely as you did that night I saw you both in the hut. You have complete faith in him. You see the good in him where none of us could. You care about him…”_

“Well of course I care about him!”

Rey began to stumble… She’d cared about him for a long time.

“He’s the father of my child… And he… he… He’s like me. I look at him, and I see a reflection of myself. He understands me and I understand him… and you can’t not care about someone when you know them that deeply…”

_“True… very true… But it is more than that Rey, and deep down you know it. I just don’t think you know what IT is.”_

“No I clearly don’t so why don’t you enlighten me?”

Rey snapped, feeling irritable. Luke had a knack for making her feel this way.

_“You’ll figure it out, Rey.”_

And then Luke vanished. Rey was left feeling confused and irritated and with the distinct feeling that this was far from the last time she would see Luke Skywalker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do we think Luke knows that Rey doesn't?  
> Kudos are cool but comments are fuel!
> 
> Have a very Merry Christmas everyone or happy holidays!  
> See you all on the other side, maybe the new year, in which case  
> Happy New Year! This is the year for ep IX and hopefully, vindication for Reylos everywhere!

**Author's Note:**

> Might do a follow up but not sure. Guess it depends on what you guys think!  
> If you want to chat - I have Tumblr under the same name - Reylo-of-light


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